Rocky Etiquette

Many of you may be asking yourselves, "What is RHPS all about? What should I wear? What should I bring? What should I expect?" For you virgins out there, be you new to the Rocky experience, or a seasoned veteran who is merely a Zen Room virgin, we offer you these guidelines:

virˇgin (vűr jin)

  1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
  2. A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden.
  3. An unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.
  4. Virgin The Virgin Mary. (see Stone, Billy J.)
  5. A person who has never attended a live performance of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

If you fit definition five, you are a Virgin. Virgins at a Zen Room show are quickly identified by our crack security squad and branded with the Large Red "V" of Rocky Virginity. Do not think yourself so wily as to be able to fool them. They are professionals. They can smell you. Better to accept your fate than struggle in vain. Besides, you are only a Virgin once. Make the most of it!

As a Virgin you may be required to take part in a rite of passage known as The Virgin Sacrifice. This trial by fire allows you, the Virgin, to prove your worth those of us who have weathered the storm and thereby gain our acceptance and perhaps, if you are lucky or exceptionally "gifted", our praise. Worry not. The Sacrifice will not force you into overly uncomfortable positions and almost never leaves permanent scars.

Harboring a Virgin or attempting to shield them from identification and/or humiliation is a grievous offense punishable by death, or a very serious spanking.

The Zen Room RHPS experience is about giving everyone an opportunity to let go of their inhibitions for one night (to whatever extent they wish) in the company of 500 or so others doing exactly the same thing. As such we welcome our audience to wear as much or as little as they want, within the following guidelines:

Full frontal nudity is right out. Female nipples and all genitalia must be covered by something. We strictly administer and enforce the pencil test. Spandex is a privilege not a right.

Beyond that we encourage you to use your imagination. Nearly every show we do is "themed." Take a look at the current theme (shown on the top left corner of your screen) and come up with something thematic and interesting and you just might win something.

It also goes without saying that the tradition of dressing as your favorite RHPS character is always a viable option. Unlike other productions you may or may not have seen we tend to get very few costumes of this type, so if you are the only one dressed as Magenta don't feel out of place. It's just something that has either not caught on here yet or is currently considered the bellbottomed jumper of Zen Room fashion. If this is the option you are going for check out the Anal Retentive Costume Site for tips to make your costume annoyingly perfect.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words here are a few examples of what we consider "well dressed attendees" in various levels of clothing:

Two Hotties
A well dressed spicy little number
and the girl ain't bad either!
In theme
Really getting into the theme.
Abso-Smurfly good!
Star Girl
Or don't dress at all!!

One of the most incredible and indelible aspects of the RHPS experience is the phenomenon of audience participation. The primary way this is realized is through "callbacks." Callbacks basically entail everyone in the auditorium yelling random funny things at the top of their lungs in conjunction with the movie.

Every time the name "Brad Majors" is uttered in the film, the audience shouts "Asshole!" Every time the name "Janet Weiss" is uttered, the audience shouts "Slut!" (See! Isn't that random and funny!?)

The best way to get into the callback thing is to come see the show a few times; you will get the hang of it fairly quickly. If you want a little homework to do before the show, check out one of the many callback scripts at Cosmo's Factory.

Our callbacks are really a mish-mash of various others's callback scripts with a few new things thrown in for fun. We are currently working on an "official" Zen Room callback script that will be posted when we get around to it, but it is only official in the sense that it consists of most of the callbacks we have heard at our shows over the past years and omits those that are tired, dated, or just lame. It will be intended as an inspiration, not a limitation. If you've got something new and cool that we have never heard before by all means bring it on. The rest of the audience will let you know if it works or if it sucks.

Time Warp
The quintessential Rocky Horror participation thing is the Time Warp. Every time they do a news show about RHPS or a special on VH-1 you will see it. Everybody stands up and dances. The great thing about the Time Warp is that the song "Time Warp" actually tells you how to do "The Time Warp," so you should no how it goes after the first chorus. If you can't get the hang of it after that we strongly urge you to give up any dreams of being a professional ballerina. I mean, come one! It's just the Hokey-Pokey on crack!

For your safety and to assuage the ulcers of the theater management, Time Warp IN THE AISLES, not on the seats, not on the stage, not in a car, not in a tree, not with a mouse not in a house.

In conjunction with callbacks, many Rocky attendees choose to augment their experience with certain prop items held in check then hurled about the auditorium at appropriate times.

Due to cleaning and safety concerns, the theater officials have asked us to limit certain props being brought in. We like our theater and we would like to stay in it for a long, long time. Please observe the following guidelines when choosing your arsenal for the evening.

Allowed Props Include:
Dry, Uncooked Rice
Empty Squirt Guns (which you can fill once in the theater)
Toilet Paper

Contraband Items: Food of any kind other than dry, uncooked rice. This includes (but is not limited to) toast (raw, toasted, buttered or otherwise), bologna, hotdogs, and meatloaf. (Have you ever tried to clean up a rug-stain from a hotdog that a whole crowd has walked over? Eewww!) Anything Liquid (with the exception of water from our faucets) Weapons (Knives, Guns, Thermonuclear devices) Lighters (Okay the theater is all concrete, but the smoke detectors are really sensitive and allowing open flame would require we have a fire marshal on site, which we cannot afford. Also the theater guys say no, and we listen)

Common sense applies. Feel free to bring and use "clean" props that come to mind. As long as it can't damage the theatre and won't tax the cleanup crew (us!) or endanger the audience (you!), it's probably OK.

As before, check out one of the callback scripts out there for appropriate places to utilize props, or use your imagination, or bring all of the stuff above and throw it when everybody else does. DO NOT throw items at or onto the stage!

The Rules
Disobey these things if you want to be escorted into the alley and lovingly administered a boot to the groin. Many are redundant iterations of material presented above, but since this is what is shouted at you at every show before you get to go inside we figured we'd include it for the sake of completion.

1. No food except dry rice. Eat on your own time, dammit. Don't throw food, other than rice. Anything else is disgusting and pisses off the theatre manager.
2. No Fire. Please use a flashlight or your imagination. Fire marshalls have this thing about theaters burning down with hundreds of students inside. Something about the smell of burning flesh and screaming people irritates the neighbors.
3. Donšt throw anything towards the stage. An exception might be made for $100 bills.
4. No sex in the aisles. Unless directly supervised by a cast member.
5. Only Cast And Crew on the stage. It just doesn't pay to mess with security. Trust us on this.
7. No smoking of anything. Anyone caught smoking will be extinguished appropriately.
8. Time Warp In the aisles. See rule 4.
9. Don't stand on the seats. Makes you easier to hit from the security lounge.
A. No weapons. All guns, knives, explosives, and thermonuclear devices must be properly disposed of BEFORE entering the theater. Failure to do so may result in your forcible ejection from the theatre without a refund but with a boot print on the butt cheek of your choice. The Penalty: Anyone caught violating the rules will be removed from the theatre without refund. (Yes, really.) We might even make you pay for your date's tickets too! Then, you'll be executed, drawn, quartered, subjected to impolite orifice emissions from an ill tempered yak, humiliated, ridiculed, lost, found, lost again, then shipped to a far off galaxy where your final instructions will be to evolve into a more sophisticated and less loserly life form. (Not necessarily in that order.) This will continue until you've had enough. Anyone who violates the rules but is not caught will feel the temporary rush of getting away with it but will soon be guilted into oblivion by an army of religious leaders who are into that sort of thing. All because you can't follow ten simple rules, you pompous, inconsiderate pus brain! We know where you live. We have friends. So there.

Overall have a sinfully delicious time and feel free to do whatever takes your fancy so long as doing so does not interfere with others attempting to do the same, violate any of our rules, or incur the wrath of The Man™.